Thursday, December 31, 2009

America's Most Expensive NYE's Package Includes Boobs


You know how every once in awhile, a dying restaurant comes out with an outrageous 10 pound burger or some other such instant artery-clogging dish in order to get free publicity and intrigued customers to come through the door?

It looks like desperate plastic surgeons are turning to the same measure.

New York Park Avenue plastic surgeon Dr. Stephen Greenberg is offering the ultimate "new you" for New Year's: Three tables at a New Year's Eve Lady Gaga and John Legend concert, round-trip first class tickets from NYC to Miami with a choice of 5 star penthouse rooms in South Beach for a month with a chauffeured Rolls Royce, AND a pair of new breasts - as reported by Asian News International.

The boob job comes with a 24-hour care nurse and unlimited spa treatments.

The cost for all of the above?

A cool $100K.

While some (wealthy) women prefer their plastic surgery to come in pampered packages, you can't lose sight of the fact that a breast augmentation is a serious surgery that you have to make sure you REALLY want before you even consider going there.

It's not like a pretty dress you buy in the store; you can't just take it off if you find that it doesn't "fit" you quite right.

So while anyone can check out a concert, penthouse suite and ride in a Rolls Royce convertible (um, sign me up for that one!), not everyone is a candidate for breast augmentation.

If you know exactly what you want, what the risks are, what the recovery entails, and have done all your research on the best implant fit for you...then knock yourself out.

But if you none of the above applies to you, you could end up not only very disappointed - but with a bad boob job to boot.

Lesson: Do your homework first. Get beautiful boobs second.

Just When I Thought I'd Seen Everything..


You can't make stuff like this up.

Canadian tattoo fan Lane Jensen decided that the FFF cup scantily clad cowgirl stripper tat on his calf just wasn't outrageous enough - so he decided to give her a boob job, as reported by The Denver Westword. As in a REAL silicone boob job!

Yes, this man is now walking around with a boob job on his leg.

This of course begs the question - just WHO did Jensen find to actually implant silicone in his leg?

And unfortunately for the raunchy yet hot-bodied cowgirl, her boobs look like one big lump of lard stuck together.

And I'm thinking the Canadian boy might have to move to a hot Hollywood type climate, where he can wear shorts year-round to show off his "art." I can't imagine the big bump looks all that compelling with a pair of pants over it.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Miss Oops Brings Us The Boob Tube


Every woman has a gorgeous, sexy top that she'd LOVE to show off at the office or a family party, but it shows a bit *too much* of the girls. So it sits collecting dust in a drawer.

Camisoles never look right underneath these kinds of tops because the extra bulk just isn't flattering. ("Is that an extra stomach you've got underneath there, or are you just happy to see me..?)

So you can imagine how excited I was come across this new product from Miss Oops - the Boob Tube.

What it is: A 95% rayon / 5% spandex bandeau that fits right over the boobs, so you can conceal that peeking cleavage without adding a whole extra layer to your outfit.

The boob tubes come in a rainbow of shades - and at $25 a pop, they're seemingly pricey for such a small amount of fabric - but you'll no doubt get a ton of wear out of them for a long time to come.

Our only question: Why didn't we think of this before?

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Man Wants Payment For Ex-Wife's Breast Implants

Just when you thought you'd heard it all, here's a new one for you.

In the current Isaacson v. Isaacson case brewing in North Dakota, Erik Isaacson is claiming that the value of his ex-wife Traci's $5,500 breast implants should count as a mutual asset. And get this: he's saying the same for her $1,000 lasik eye surgery.

(Why do I get the funny feeling that someone cheated on someone else here..?)

So how did the judge react?

"Absolutely nonsense. I can't imagine people would actually waste time thinking that breast implants are marital assets. It just defies common sense. I don't know how you would expect me to award breast implants, if you want me to have them cut out and given to Mr. Isaacson," said South Central District of North Dakota Judge Robert Wefald.

During proceedings last week, Justice Daniel Crothers asked Isaacson's attorney, "Do we have any lines to be drawn? Is a hip replacement a marital asset?"

In return, Isaacson's attorney argued that medical expenses should be considered marital assets when they are "clearly cosmetic, elective, non-necessary."

I think these folks need to pack their bags and head over to Judge Judy.

What do you think?

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

"Every Day" Women Get Breast Implants Too!

I was having lunch with a girl friend recently when she told me that she had just been asked to be a bridesmaid at her cousin's Bermuda wedding.

But here's the good part. Her cousin managed to pick out dresses in the kind of loud fucshia floral print you would wear as a costume on Halloween if you were going as an 80's bridesmaid. And - according to my girl friend - the strapless style makes her look "flatter than a panini sandwich." Her words.

So we had a breast-enhancing brainstorming session that included everything from Victoria's Secret Very Sexy Convertible Bras to cleavage cupcakes and bronzing in between her breasts to trick the eye into seeing more depth there. If only men knew!

And then my girl friend told me - "You're so LUCKY - you're just naturally blessed!"

Um, not quite..

I broke the news that I wasn't always a D cup diva. Actually, I'm a former 34B.

"No way! But those don't look like STRIPPER T-TS!" she shrieked a little too loudly for an intimately packed restaurant in midtown at 1pm.

No, these babies aren't stripper boobs. And far less augmentations than you think actually are.

So many women out there want enhancement, but what holds them back is the fear that they'll end up looking like a floozy cartoon pinup. The kind that men don't take seriously.

The truth is, the MAJORITY of breast augmentations today are had by every day women. I'm talking teachers, lawyers, nurses, real estate agents - stay-at-home Moms.

You just don't notice the more subtle versions because they don't call out for your ATTENTION.

The good news: you can have control over the kind of breast augmentation you get, including a boob job that subtly fills out your clothing and makes you feel and look incredibly sexy without raising the eyebrows of co-workers, your hair stylist or your mother-in-law.

But there's a BIG CATCH: You need to know WHO to hire as your plastic surgeon, HOW to figure out what the perfect size is for your frame, and EXACTLY WHAT to ask for.

Without these ESSENTIAL steps, you could risk ending up with the kind of supersized big breasts that are keeping you from taking the plunge in the first place.

To learn how to get the perfect sized breast augmentation for you, be sure to read Chapter 3 of my eBook, The Boob Job Bible; 10 Steps To A Sexy, Safe Breast Augmentation.

If you have NO CLUE what size you want to be, I give you a step-by-step guide on how to figure out it and get it right - the first time!

And hey - you might decide that bigger IS better. Just remember that the bigger the implant, the higher the complication risk. Read Chapter 7 to learn how to dramatically reduce your complication risks, as well as what special things you need to consider if you do go bigger.

Unfortunately, I can't help with ugly bridesmaid dresses..

Real World Contestant Bursts Implant

Recently, MTV "Real World/Road Rules Challenge" contestant Shauvon Torres did a belly flop during a show stunt and ended up in the ER for a burst breast implant!

This is seriously every breast augmentation patient's worst nightmare.

I've always been nervous about what would happen if my car's airbag went off. Or if I fell real hard on my chest while figure skating.

New York City Plastic and Reconstructive Surgeon Dr. Nina Naidu tells me, "It's very hard to rupture an implant with 'normal' activity. Ms. Torres must have hit the water really hard. Though with an implant that's older than 10 years, it may take less force."

One of the largest manufacturers of implants in the US is Allergen, and they report a deflation rate of 5% at 3 years, 7% at 5 years and 10% at 7 years. "The longer implants are in, the higher the risk of rupture, which seems to increase around the 7-10 year mark," says Naidu. "We tell patients that they may need to exchange their implants after about 10 years."

I do remember reading about the 10 year recommendation to switch out implants when I did my research on boob jobs. And it completely freaked me out. Who wants to set themselves up for that many surgeries down the road?

My personal take on it is that these girls aren't going anywhere unless they NEED to! But if you're in a sport, job or lifestyle where you consistently experience a lot of impact on your chest, I think the 10 year mark is something you really need to consider in order to make sure breast implants are a good fit for you.

What No One Tells You About Getting A Breast Augmentation

So I was at the gynecologist today getting my yearly women's wellness exam (fun times!), when my doctor brought up the subject of breast augmentation in a most interesting way.

(Note: She of course does this while my hands are awkwardly up over my head and it feels like she's kneading dough out of my poor breasts.)

"I only see about 25% of boob jobs that are good, and yours is one of them. I don't care for 75% of the work I see."


Now of course I had to jump on that. What's so wrong with the whopping 75% of boob jobs she doesn't like?

"They just don't look or feel right. It's the wrong type of implant for the woman. The size or shape is wrong, or it's just not placed right. It doesn't feel womanly. It feels fake."

This brings up a real interesting point that I never see addressed in breast augmentation books, articles or websites.

They always tell you to pick a board certified plastic surgeon.

But what they DON'T tell you is that just picking a board certified plastic surgeon doesn't guarantee you'll have a good result!

Let me give you a parallel. If you're hiring a lawyer, you of course want to hire someone who has their law degree and all the proper credentials. But that doesn't necessarily mean that everyone with a law degree is a GOOD lawyer.

Likewise, when you're hiring a plastic surgeon, you want to choose from doctors who have the most basic requirement: board certification. But that doesn't mean that ANY plastic surgeon with board certification is automatically a GOOD plastic surgeon.

This was evidenced by my gynecologist's next question. "Who is your plastic surgeon? He's GOOD."

There's a bunch of other things you have to look for to make sure you're hiring a GOOD plastic surgeon.

One of the most important things to research is the doctor's WORK. Lawyers can be judged by how many cases they win. And plastic surgeons can be judged by their before and after photos.

So say you're considering a certain plastic surgeon who is board certified and who your girl friend has been to. You need to be on the doctor's website, checking out every before and after shot posted to make sure the work looks like the type of breast augmentation you want for YOURSELF.

Plastic surgeons have different styles. You need to find a style that suits YOU and YOUR BODY.

If there are only a few photos on the site, ask to see the doctor's complete patient photo book. Every GOOD plastic surgeon keeps one in the office.

If the doctor doesn't have one or is reluctant to show you it for whatever reason, BIG RED FLAG. RUN!

If you want to make sure a plastic surgeon is certified with the right board, you can download my FREE report - 5 Things Every Woman Should Know Before Getting A Breast Augmentation. It tells you exactly how to make sure a plastic surgeon is properly certified with all the right credentials. Get it for free at

And if you're looking for a step-by-step guide on how to choose a GOOD plastic surgeon who will give you the gorgeous breast augmentation you've always wanted, be sure to read Chapter 1 of my eBook, The Boob Job Bible: 10 Steps To A Sexy, Safe Breast Augmentation.

I tell you exactly what to look for in before and after photos as well as the checklist of things every GOOD plastic surgeon will have.

Remember, the plastic surgeon you choose has the BIGGEST influence on the kind of boob job you'll end up with.

There's a lot of both BEAUTIFUL and BAD boob jobs floating around out there, and it almost ALWAYS comes down to the plastic surgeon who put them in.

Choose your plastic surgeon wisely and carefully, or else risk ending up in that bottom 75%.

The Before & After Photo Obsession

Check out the before and after photos of Heidi Montag's breast augmentation.
Pretty amazing, isn't it?

Now regardless of whether you think she looks cuter before or after, one thing is for sure: us ladies LOVE studying before and after pictures! Men do too, but I think most women sit and critique for much longer.

I'm trying to figure out why that is. Is it because we enjoy seeing the "potential" for more aesthetically pleasing change in someone? Are we looking for "ideas" for ourselves? Are we just BORED?

I'd love to hear what you think.

Oh, and methinks that the boobs aren't the ONLY thing that has changed for Ms. Montag..check out the subtle transformation of the nose and lips too!

The Boob Job Bible

Hasn't every woman at some point wondered what it would be like to have a boob job?

An augmentation. A lift. Or maybe a (gasp!) reduction.

Boobs are so much a part of being a woman that it's hard to NOT think about them, isn't it?

Well, after years of THINKING about it - I finally took the plunge.

I got a boob job!

Best gift I've given myself. EVER! It's like a TRANSFORMATION.

For the curious, these are the three most surprising facts I learned during my years of research:
-Breast implants aren't lifetime devices. Manufacturers say those babies only last about 10-15 years. Have some women out there kept them longer? Definitely. But it's a surgery you have to be prepared to repeat down the road if you get one. Maybe even multiple times.

-There's two kinds of implants: saline (water) and silicone. But even the saline implant has a silicone rubber shell. So either way, you're putting silicone inside of you.

-Your new boobs can take anywhere from 6 weeks to about six months to settle down! They start out "high" up on your chest because your muscles tighten in response to the surgery. Once the boobs "drop," they look more naturally shaped. The dropping process sometimes even makes you gain more cup size since your muscles settle their grip on your implants. So if you want your new girls to look fab for a particular event or day, plan FAR ahead in advance!

For the ladies out there who are more curious (you did find your way to this blog didn't you?) and maybe even think they may take the exhilirating plunge one day, here's the juicy 411 on my book: